CroMagnon
by masked-spangler
Summary: Spoilers up to episode 4.10, deals with rape. This is Charlotte's recovery, from Cooper's point of view.
1. Chapter 1

_Note: I've already written about the Charlotte/Cooper situation from Charlotte's perspective. I thought it might be a fun hiatus project to look at the situation again from Cooper's POV. We'll see where this takes us! Usual angst warnings apply, given the storyline they have going on, but this will be straight-up Charlotte/Cooper with the happy ending!_

Cro-Magnon

He opens his eyes his eyes in the middle of the night, and is instantly aware that she is wide awake beside him. She's gotten better at doing that without waking him. In the first weeks after what happened -he still can't say the proper word, even in his head- she'd wake up screaming, kicking at the sheets and thrashing away when he'd reach out to try and comfort her. He knows the nightmares still plague her, but she can mask it now, and she often doesn't even wake him. He is not sure this is an improvement.

He stretches a little, looks over, isn't sure what he should say. She's lying there, rigid and perfectly still and staring up at the ceiling with tearful, serious eyes. Her breathing is just a little too slow and careful. She's maintaining, at whatever level it is she's set for herself tonight. But she's working at it.

"Char?"

She looks over at him, then closes her eyes. "I'm sorry. I didn't mean to wake you."

"You didn't. I just woke up. Are you..."

"Don't ask that."

"I'm sorry. I..."

"Don't say that either."

A part of him is telling him to leave it, but the cro-magnon part of him that wants to help her just can't leave this alone. "All right, I won't ask. But will you tell me?"

She sighs, turns her head in his direction. But still won't open her eyes. "What's to tell? You know what this is."

"I know, I just..."

"Just leave it, Coop. Let me just lay here and try to...I don't know. Just leave it, will you?"

He can hear the almost-crying in her voice, so he leaves it. But he feels like a heel. Since when has Cooper Friedman ever left a woman, the way he's leaving her? Since when has he ever turned his back on someone who's hurting? But...under these circumstances...what else can he DO?

He drifts off again, and the alarm eventually wakes him. But she, he suspects, did not go back to sleep at all. He senses her twitch a little at the sudden noise of the alarm, but other than that, she is just as he left her-lying there, stiff, controlled, staring up at the ceiling and looking like she's trying not to completely freak out. She lets him lean over, lets him give her a tiny kiss. But he can feel her tensing when he touches her.

"So? You want first shower?" he asks.

"Whatever."

"Breakfast? Pancakes? Waffles?"

"You decide."

"Charlotte..."

"Don't even."

"But..."

"No. Don't talk about this. Don't start another day looking sorry. You get over this, Coop, you hear me?"

"And you?"

"What about me?"

"Will you get over this too?"

She bristles, hops out of bed. "Like I said. Don't talk about this."

* * *

He has a session with Sheldon, over lunch. He hasn't told her yet that he's doing that. He wonders if she'd want to know or if this would fall under the 'this' she has forbidden him from talking about...

"And then she says 'don't talk about this,'" he tells Sheldon. "So what am I supposed to do with that?"

"Well," Sheldon says. "I'd say you follow her lead. Look, I know this is frustrating for you. But you need to think less about today and more about the bigger picture. No matter how controlled she seems to you, she can't hold this in forever."

"Sure she can. You know her too, Sheldon, and..."

"Yes, I do know her. And as a professional, I also know her type, and I know what happens to people like her when they find themselves in situations this big and this scary. She'll repress it as long as she can, and then it will all come out in a big way, and everything will start getting better."

"Sounds messy."

"It will be. And you need to be ready for it, Cooper. Because when it happens, she'll need you."

"And in the meantime?"

"In the meantime, hard as it's going to be for you, you pretend right along with her. You go about your day, your life, your routine like everything is fine and you show her, in whatever small ways you can, that you're there for her, that you love her, that you're safe and gentle and listening. She has to know, on some instinctive level, that when she does finally break, you'll be there to put her back together."

"Damn. This is the hardest thing I've ever done, Sheldon."

"It's the hardest thing she's ever done too. Remember that, Cooper. It's the hardest thing she's ever done too."

* * *

He thinks about what he would have done for her before this happened. Would he have gone into her office and asked her what she was doing for lunch? Probably not. He would have gone in there, sure, but it wouldn't have been lunch they had together. So how can he do this now? How can he pretend it's all the same when it isn't?

She solves the problem for him, comes in to his office while he's sitting there stewing about it, and sits down in his chair.

"I'm sorry," she says.

"What for?"

"For snipping at you. Didn't mean to, this morning. Just...just haven't been sleeping that well, I guess. Makes me a little snippy, when I don't sleep."

"It's okay."

"No, it's not. I shouldn't have special rules, Coop. I know I'm...that I have...well, you know. You know what it is. But it shouldn't mean I get special rules."

"Why not?"

"Because then it would just be something else about my life that's different now?"

He sighs. "All right. You were snippy. Bad girl."

"So, I'm apologizing. Now, you have to say you forgive me."

"I forgive you."

"Thank you. So, we go for lunch and I buy."

He goes for lunch with her, and she sits, smiles once, then silently eats without even looking at him. She doesn't seem to feel much like talking. He isn't sure he feels like talking either.

* * *

"It's weird," he complains to Sheldon after. "It's just weird, and I'm tired of it being weird. And I know what you're gonna say, it's weird for her too, but Sheldon, I need a little more right now."

"I know you do."

"Well?"

"You could bring her in with you one time," Sheldon suggests. "A little joint therapy, if you think she'd do it."

"Sheldon, she doesn't even know I'm coming in, let alone convincing her to come herself..."

"Well, a little therapy would help her. It doesn't need to be with me -probably shouldn't be, given my history with her- but it would help her."

"You want to try convincing her?"

"Why? Have you already discussed it with her?"

"Addison did. On the night of."

"Well, now that things have settled some, it might be worth revisiting. And not from Addison, either."

"Thing is, Sheldon, she told me she doesn't want to talk about this. So how am I supposed to bring this up?"

"Wait for an opening to present itself. And Cooper, it will. Maintaining, at the level of denial she's at right now, is very difficult. You'll have an opening. I'd take it when I could get it if I were you."

* * *

To his surprise, the opening comes sooner than he thinks it will. When he goes to the hospital at the end of the day to get her, she's fuming. Or shouting, anyway. When she doesn't come out to meet him, he goes looking at her and he can hear it from halfway down the corridor.

"Get out!" Charlotte is screaming, and he can hear an edge of out-of-control in her tone that alarms him. "Out of my office, out of my hospital..."

The voice that answers is Addison. "We're not done here."

He cracks open the door, peeks in. Charlotte is pacing, her face red, her eyes wild. Addison is standing still, speaking calmly, looking more concerned than angry.

Charlotte's voice is pure ice. "You stay away, Montgomery. Don't you dare touch that girl."

They notice him, and Addison turns his way, explains. "We have a patient."

"Addison..." Charlotte warns.

"Sixteen years old," Addison continues. "Signs of beating, and sexual trauma. She has a broken hand, Cooper. And a blow to the eye socket."

He flinches, recognizing the pattern of injuries. "Charlotte? Sweetie, are you..."

"She was maintaining," Addison says, with a nod to Charlotte, who is sitting now, looking pale and still and a little bit trembly. "At least, I thought she was. She was with me on a consult when I got the page, said she'd come with me and deal with the CAS call while I did my exam. And then the girl said she didn't want the rape kit..."

"That's her choice," Charlotte says. "That should be up to her."

"Except it's not, because this is California and we have mandatory reporting for assault cases involving a minor. Charlotte, I have to do the rape kit. It's the law."

"It's her body. She should have the choice!"

"I know she should. But she doesn't. And I have to do the exam. I can do it now, make it as gentle as possible. Or I can wait until the social worker gets here and over-rules you and hovers over my shoulder while I do it. But Charlotte, I need to do the exam."

Charlotte's hands are tight fists, her body antsy with fight. "You'll make it gentle? You'll make it GENTLE? You have any idea what it feels like to go through one of those?"

"Not personally, no, which is why I'm cutting you some slack for the way you've been speaking to me. I get why this is a button for you..."

"Oh, for goodness sake..."

"...but I am doing this exam, with or without your approval."

"Without my consent, you mean. That's the word, isn't it? Consent?"

Addison flinches. "This is not about you."

"Without her consent, than."

"She's sixteen years old!"

"It's her body. She should have that much."

"There are a lot of things she should have had today. Charlotte, I am so, so sorry."

"Real sick of hearing those words..."

"You can stay for it, if you want to."

"Hell no."

"All right." Addison turns to him. "Cooper, she's sixteen. There are mandatory reporting laws."

He nods. "Let me talk to her."

Addison hesitates, then turns to go. "I'll wait outside. You come and tell me when I'm clear to go ahead on this. But Cooper, talk fast. The sooner we get this done, the easier."

He nods, but he's already turned his attention away from Addison, and to Charlotte. This is his opening. He's going in.


	2. Chapter 2

Part 2

He approaches her gently, quietly. She's sitting at the desk, and she has her head in her hands and won't look at him.

"Charlotte?"

He hears her breathing. Slow and careful, with just the tiniest hitch...

"Baby?"

A pause. Then, a sigh. "What do you want from me, Coop?"

"I want you to go out there for a second and tell Addison to go ahead with her exam. We'll talk about this. But first, I want you to tell her to go ahead."

"Sounds like it doesn't matter all that much what I want."

"It sounds like in this situation, nobody's coming out happy. So we should make it as easy as it can be, for that girl who is depending on us, and we should send Addison in right now, before the social worker gets here."

"There's more going on here, Coop."

He's feeling suddenly emotional at that revelation, and he doesn't quite trust himself to say the right thing, so he tries to think about what Sheldon would say. "I know there is, and we'll deal with it in a second. But first, I think you need to go and tell her, Charlotte."

"You tell her, if you want her told so bad."

What would Sheldon say? What would he say? He'd say she has to be the one to give the go, because this is pushing her 'out of my hands' button and she needs to feel like she can control even one tiny part of it. And he'd say that Addison herself is still a bit of a button too...

"I'll wait for you," he finally says. "You tell her, then you come back again, and I'll be here."

She gives him a look he can't quite decipher, like what he's seeing right now is only half of what's really there. But she gets up, goes out there. And comes back in alone.

"All right, Coop. Talk if you want to."

"Well, I was hoping you would talk, actually."

She taps her fist against the tabletop, stares at him like she's taking in his careful, composed expression and trying to judge its sincerity. Trying to see just how much of it is faked and how much of it is ready to really hear what's on her mind...

"Something you don't know," she says after a second. "About what happened that night."

"Okay..."

"I declined the rape kit too, Coop. And she did it anyway."

"She WHAT?"

"Did it anyway. Or some of it, I don't know. Coop, I called her in. Did you know that part?"

He didn't.

"I called her in, and I trusted her. Called in a professional favour I never thought I'd have to call in and went with the devil I knew on this, and I trusted her to just look after it and spare me as much of the pain as she could. She betrayed that. And now it's going to happen again..."

"It's different this time," he says. "Your patient is a minor, Charlotte. It has to be reported."

"Oh, I know it. The rational, doctor part of me knows it, anyway. But the part of me that still's right back there when I close my eyes is feeling her back there too, doing one more violation. And that part of me is sick at the thought of turning her on someone else like that when they don't want it. Coop, you have no idea. NO idea. And she doesn't either. This just ain't right."

"A lot of things about this aren't right."

"I know that too. And I don't know what all I can do about it. I just have all this...this STUFF...and nowhere for it to go..."

"Have you thought a little, about having some therapy?"

"Been going to meetings some. With Amelia."

"Not that kind of therapy."

She fidgets again, won't quite meet his eyes. "No. Not yet."

"Okay. Your choice, sweetie. You know that, right?"

"Oh, so now is when I get the choices? Real helpful, Coop."

"I'll listen," he says. "When you want to talk to me, I'll listen."

"I know you will. I want to go home, Coop. I just can't...can't stop fidgeting. I'm all messed up. I want to go home and just try and forget this whole sorry day. Please, can we just go?"

In the car, she starts shivering. By the time they get home, she's doubled over, head between her knees, eyes glassy and sick.

"Charlotte? Babe?"

"Don't...touch..."

He's very alarmed, but she holds up her hand, takes a deep, shuddering breath. "Wait...wait..."

He unbuckles his seatbelt, sits, turns to her. Does what she asks for, and simply waits.

"Okay," she says after a moment. Her breathing is calmer now, but she still looks off...

"You want to tell me?"

"Just letting it finish."

"Letting what finish?"

"Addison's exam. I was following it along in my head, and I had to let it finish..."

She tries to move, wobbles over a little. "Whoa..."

"Char?"

"Coop, help me. I'm gonna..."

Her body twitches, and then her eyes roll back. That does it. He's getting help.

* * *

He calls Violet. She's the only one other than Charlotte who has an ICE spot on his speed dial, and he can't be bothered to press any more buttons than he has to right now. He carries Charlotte inside, and she's already rousing a little, but her groan of pain sounds foggy and thick. Her body is warm against him and her hand dangles down the front of his his chest as he eases her from the fireman's carry onto the couch. A part of him registers that this is the most physical contact he's had with her in weeks. A bigger part of him is busy assessing her vitals and figuring out just what the hell happened.

His cell phone beeps. Violet, returning his 911 text. He pushes the speakerphone, then puts the phone down and tries to focus on Charlotte again.

"Cooper?"

"Hey, Vi."

"You dialed, then hung up."

"Bit of a situation here, Vi. I need you."

Her voice goes suddenly professional. "What happened?"

More groans from the direction of the couch, and he shoves the phone away in irritation. "Get Addison to fill you in on the patient she and Charlotte had, then get over here. I have to go, Vi, I think Charlotte's coming to, and..."

"Coming to? Was she unconscious?"

"Yes. Maybe. I don't know. Look, I have a crisis here, just..."

"Okay. I'm on it. Hang tight."

He swats the phone off the table, and it hangs up. "Charlotte? Baby?"

She cuddles into the couch cushion, hiding her face from him. And her voice comes out in a raspy whisper. "Don't talk. Don't touch."

He nods, pulls a chair over to a spot where he can watch her. And he sits, watching her breathe. That's how Violet finds them when, an eternity later, she lets knocks softly on his door and lets herself in.

* * *

To his dismay, the first thing Violet does is demand he make coffee.

"But..."

"Coop," she says gently. "I need you out of here right now."

"I should stay with her. She..."

"She's been triggered, big-time. I need to figure out what's happened beyond that, and if you're going to be a potential distraction, I need you gone."

"I'll hold."

"It isn't you I'm worrying about. Cooper, if there's something she'd hold back because she doesn't want you hearing it..."

He has to admit, that point is fair. He'd like to think he's her rock and that he's there for her, but he knows his girl, and her instinct, when she's hurting, is to hide or to run. He reminds himself that this isn't about him. He just wants her better. And wasn't he the one who suggested therapy in the first place? If that little bit of extra distance from it not being him is what it takes to get her to open up, isn't that a small price to pay?

"Hey..." Violet pats his arm gently. "You'll be here, after. When she's done, when it's settled, you'll be here for her. Right?"

"Okay. I'll make coffee."

He peeks over his shoulder as he leaves and the last thing he sees is Violet is right up by Charlotte, speaking softly, keeping her hand on the cushion, almost -but not quite- touching Charlotte's arm.


	3. Chapter 3

Part 3

He's on his third cup of coffee when Violet finally comes in.

"Hey, Coop."

"Is she..."

"Sleeping."

"On the couch?"

"In the bed, but she might not stay there. I have to warn you, this might be a bad night."

"What happened, Violet? What the hell happened to her today?"

"Well, this patient who came in, this girl, it triggered her. And she's reliving it."

He winces. "I knew it. As soon as Addison told me what the injuries were, I..."

"No, Coop, not the attack itself. She's reliving what happened after. Pete finding her. Addison coming in. The forensic nurse, the exam that Addison did. Everything that happened that night, she's playing it through in her head over and over again, and she couldn't stop the loop."

"Oh my god..."

"Cooper, she's an incredibly strong person. But she was triggered, and on stuff she's been repressing for a good couple weeks here, so it hit hard. Flashbacks, they aren't just pictures. They can be sounds, they can be feelings, they can be sensations..."

"Sensations? Like pain?"

"Like pain. Like panic. Like craving..."

He absorbs that for a moment. "Is she still...right now?"

"Maybe. Hard to say. She wasn't completely with it for the entire conversation, and as soon as she got her footing again, her defenses kicked in and she shut it all down. She's good at putting on the brave face. But Cooper, I need you to understand just what it is that's happened. This is like the psych equivalent of a heart attack or an aneurysm here. If you'd brought her to the ER like this, they would have admitted her."

"You're scaring me, Violet."

"You should be scared. I'm sorry. I know how hard this is for you, believe me, I do. But she's the patient here, Cooper. She's priority number one. So I am telling you straight, because you have to deal with this."

"She is absolutely priority number one. Violet, just tell me what to do. I'll do anything."

"Well, I'm guessing she won't let you have her admitted."

"Hell no."

"And she's refused medication, which would be option number two. Not much you can do except let her rest and encourage her to do something stable and relaxing. This Addison thing could be a problem."

"She told you about that?"

"No, Addison did. And it does explain why what happened today was such a strong trigger for her. But it worries me, because I think there's more to it. I'm worried that there might be some transference going on."

"Some what, now?"

"Transference. Look at it this way. They aren't filing charges. Right?"

"Right..."

"So, the rapist, he won't be punished. He caused all this pain for her, and she won't get to see him have any consequences. But then, we have Addison, who was there too, who hurt her too- albeit with good intentions, but still..."

"And she can still be punished," he realizes with a sick feeling. "And she can still have consequences."

"Exactly."

"Geez, Violet. They work together."

"Well, they can't right now, if this is what's happening- it would be hell for Charlotte, and no picnic for Addison either. It'll have to be dealt with, though. Their specialties at the practice intersect, and Charlotte is her chief of staff at the hospital. They may need some mediation on this. We'll have to bring in some other people."

"She'll hate that."

"Yes, she will. We're not quite there yet, though. Look, just focus on the moment, for the time being. You may have a tough night, but she'll be steadier come morning, I think. If she's not, you'll need to call me. Or someone."

"You," he decides. "I know it's not optimal, given your...your history with her, and with me. But you know the deal already, so that's easier, isn't it?"

"Well, that's a conversation you have to have with her, Coop. What's setting her off is feeling like she's having choices imposed on her by other people. She's already been violated, in more than one sense. She has to start feeling like she can control this process. And Cooper, it would help you -help both of you, actually- if you could start saying the actual word."

"What do you mean?"

"Well, I'm hearing 'the deal' and 'the situation' and 'what happened' an awful lot from you two. There's a word for it, Coop. And you won't start coming to terms with this until you say it."

He flinches, not quite sure he can go there yet. "Like you said. Let's just focus on the moment for the time being."

"Coop, do you...do you want me to stay tonight? For her? For you?"

He does, he really does, but he senses that Charlotte really needs just him right now. Whatever he's feeling about this is secondary. He'll square up his own issues with Sheldon once Charlotte is back on her feet.

* * *

He goes into the bedroom, and sees at once that Violet was exaggerating when she said Charlotte was 'sleeping.' She's in the bed, that's the only truthful part. And she isn't still. She's on her back when he comes in, but then her body twitches and she falls to her side, hands grasping at the side of the pillow, fingers squeezing around it as she tries to stop shaking…

"Babe?"

She's crying, underneath the clenched eyes, and he lies down beside her, careful to position himself so that nothing touches.

"Charlotte? I'm here, sweetie, I'm here."

She's still shaking. He holds out a hand, gently strokes the side of her finger. "I'm here," he says again. "Where...are you?"

She takes a deep, shuddering breath, then rolls onto her back again, the moment over. "I'm fine," she says.

"Okay. And a second ago?"

"I wasn't fine."

"Can you give me a little more to go on here?"

She sighs, props herself up on her elbows. "Okay. We do this once. And that's it for tonight, you get me?"

"Char..."

"No. Promise me. We talk once, and then you leave it. No matter what I do."

"It helps. It helps to talk sometimes."

"And sometimes, it doesn't. Sometimes, all it does is make you feel guilty and weak and sick about what's happened. I can't...can't deal with that, on top of the rest of it. Please, just promise me. One night without all that crap."

"Whatever you need. I'm here for you, Char."

"I know you are. And that's real chivalrous. So. What did you want to know?"

"I want to know where you're at right now, in your head and everything. Charlotte, Violet told me...she said..."

"Violet says a lot of things."

"Did she tell you? What she thought was happening here?"

"She said a lot of things to try and make me think she knew how I was feeling. Then she said a lot of other things to try and get me taking medication. I set her straight."

"I bet you did. But was any of what she told you maybe true? About the rest of it?"

She sighs. "What do you want me to say, Coop? You want me to tell you this is about Addison? You want me to tell you it's about the rat bastard DA? You want to hear that this is about you and me and how I feel like you're gonna leave me if just one more thing sets all of this off again? What, Coop? What do you want to hear? Cause I'll say it, if that will make this end..."

"I am NOT going to leave you."

"Let's not talk about that now."

"You're right," he says. "You know what, you're right. This, us, tonight, right now...it's not about any of these other, bigger issues. We can deal with those, later. But right now, what I'm worried about is you, in this moment, being in a place in your head that's scary for you. Or feeling any kind of pain right now, or cravings, or fears..."

"All of those things."

"Okay. So, can you tell me? Can you tell me what's happening, just in this moment now?"

"Just playing it, I guess. Hoping that when I get to the end of the loop, it'll stop this time. But then that girl comes in, and it starts all over again, and she's there, and I'm there, and it's all mixed in..."

"That girl...you mean the patient you and Addison had? The one who came into the ER today?"

"Amber. Her name is Amber."

"She had the same injuries you did."

"Uh huh. And she had Addison too, putting her through the rest of it. Coop, it doesn't matter that she's gentle. It doesn't matter that she's not him. It still hurts, what she does. Hurts worse, when you're still aching from the rest of it..."

He winces, but soldiers on, suddenly getting an idea. "I understand. Char, would it help a little, if I went in tomorrow, checked on the girl? I could probably worm my way in as a pedes consult, see how she's doing..."

But he's lost her again. She's gripping the pillow again, fingers squeezing tight, eyes squeezing shut even tighter,,,

"Baby? Char, are you..."

"Wait," she says.

Then her hands fall free and she turns over again, drops her face into the pillow. He puts his head back down too, lies with her. Waits for her to look at him again. Waits for her to breathe.


	4. Chapter 4

Part 4

He lies there beside her for awhile, and he doesn't sleep either. He's too aware of her, pretending to sleep, drifting in and out on him. He thinks she's getting some actual rest, a half hour or so here and there, in odd snatches. But whatever she's seeing in her head is damned distracting, because she inevitably stirs, flinches a little, flexes her hands into and out of a fist. Sometimes, she turns over, kicks the sheets away, can't get comfortable. And other times -the worst times, for him- she just lies there, staring at the ceiling and stoically enduring.

He feels a little cheated, that he got so little out of the one conversation she deigned to allow him. But maybe Violet is right and that is the point where a therapist comes in. And really, what can he expect her to say? A bad thing happened. She has memories and she has injuries and her life will never be the same. Is there anything she can say -anything he could say- that would make any of this feel better right now?

Somewhere in the vicinity of two a.m, he senses her shift beside him, turn her attention his way.

"Coop?"

"Char?"

"Can I say a few things?"

"Of course you can."

"Okay. So, it does help, what you're doing now. Wanted you to know that before we did anything else."

"I'm not doing anything except just laying here with you."

"I know. And that's a comfort, feeling you there. I know you have this caveman side that just loves doing..."

"Cro-magnon," he smiles.

"Yeah. Well, this just being here, that can be enough too."

"I'm glad."

"Coop, if you do want something to do, you can tell me...well, it's a big ask. But I feel...well, a lot of things, actually. But one of them is guilty, because I know this is not the relationship you signed up for, and..."

"Don't even think that."

"But I do think it. I know it, Coop. I know what we had before. And I can't give you that right now. So I guess I need you to either forgive me and promise to stick around, even if it takes awhile, or else just admit it's never gonna be the same and leave me now, before I start leaning on you."

He's stunned she's saying this. Stunned Sheldon or Violet didn't warn him this would happen...

"I am not leaving you."

"So tell me that you forgive me. And promise me that even though it'll be different, it could still be good again. Promise me you'll stick with me until we get it there."

"Charlotte..."

"Say it, Coop. One way or the other, say it right now."

"I promise you. Charlotte, sweetheart, I promise you. I'm not leaving."

"It might take awhile."

"I know it might."

"I might be nasty. Might not always treat you right."

"I'm ready for that."

"Might not touch you. Might not want you touching me."

"I know."

"And if you do promise, and then you leave me anyway, you'll ruin me forever. You know that, right?"

"Char..."

"Fine, that's not a fair one. You said it. I accept."

"So, anything else you want to tell me? While we're talking like this?"

"Yes. I'm having a bit of a problem right now."

"Okay..."

"I've been lying here all night watching this all play out over and over again, and I should be sad or I should be scared, but I think I'm not anymore. I'm angry, Coop. I'm so angry I feel like jumping out of my skin cause I want to hit something so bad, and I don't know what to do with this."

"Oh, sweetie..."

"So, you got any brilliant ideas? Cause honestly, right now, I feel like I'm going a little crazy..."

She sounds like she's almost crying, and his heart melts. "Okay. Can I call someone? Violet, maybe?"

She flinches. "Not Violet. No."

"Can I call Sheldon? He's been...he's very soothing. I've been seeing him some."

"You have?"

"Just trying to be there for you. Deal with my end of this. It's helping."

"Fine. Sheldon."

He calls now. He knows what time it is, but he calls now. He's less than a minute into the story before he has Sheldon in a car, on the way over.

* * *

He's gotten Charlotte dressed, and while he can't quite get her settled enough to eat, he eventually manages to get a bottle of water in her hands, and he has her sipping it through a straw while she frantically paces. She's full of this weird nervous energy he's never seen in her, and she can't keep still. Even when she stops, when he makes her stop and have another sip of water, her hands shake and her fingers curl into fists that look like they're about to pop off of her.

This is how Sheldon finds them when he finally gets there and lets himself in.

"Good morning," Sheldon says pleasantly.

Charlotte scowls, but puts down the water, stops the pacing. "Hi, Sheldon."

"Good morning, Cooper."

"Yeah. Thanks for coming."

"I'm always happy to help a friend. Well, Charlotte. Did you want to sit in here? Or is there somewhere else we could go?"

"Can't sit," she says.

He turns to Sheldon. "She's, um, been a little jumpy..."

Sheldon nods, tugs his arm. "You holding?" he asks in a low whisper.

"A little freaked out."

"That's perfectly understandable. Her first, then you, okay? I won't leave you with this. But I have to see to her first."

"Absolutely."

He goes back into the bedroom, starts picking things up. That's one thing he has in common with her right now, he has to stay busy. He strips the bed, remakes it with different sheets. Puts the rest of it in the laundry basket. He walks around and picks up other stuff, a discarded sweater, loose socks, a tie. He hangs what can be hung. Puts the rest of it in the basket with the sheets.

He's picked up her pile of magazines -medical journal and otherwise- and is sorting them into neat piles, when Sheldon comes in. Alone.

"Charlotte?"

"She's better."

"How much better?"

"Cooper, you know this is not going to be instant."

"Did she tell you? What we talked about today?"

"I had my hands full with the immediate situation, Cooper."

"She's worried I'll leave her. She made me promise I wouldn't."

"That's a natural reaction. Did you do it?"

"Without hesitation. So, what does that tell you?"

"It tells me that you love her, and that you recognize this is going to be a process here. One you'll both have to work for."

"Okay. So, what next?"

"Well, I've given her some phone numbers. I did not volunteer myself for therapy, since I'm seeing you already, and she didn't fish for it. I did ask if she would speak to Violet. She most emphatically said she would not."

"Really? But Violet is..."

"Violet is someone who's pushed her on this, who tried to say she understands. That hasn't gone over very well. She's angry, at a lot of things, a lot of people. Right now, I think Violet is one of them."

"Damn."

"She has a plan for today. She's going to a meeting with Amelia, and then she'll check out of a few of the names on that list I gave her. There are some therapists who specialize in this sort of thing. Support groups. Outlets for people in her situation. She'll do it, if it helps her."

"And the anger thing?"

"Expect that to keep popping up. She may lash out at you, Cooper. You need to be prepared for it. It'll probably be something insignificant that sets it off, and you'll have to do your best to not take it personally. But eventually, something will trigger it, and you can expect her to lash out."

"And what do I do when that happens?"

"Hope that she's had enough therapy by then to have learned some relaxation strategies."

"And if she hasn't?"

"Keep her away from Addison and Violet as much as possible, and keep things as generic and routine as you can here at home. Work on re-building that safe space for her again. Think about the things that have triggered her so far- they've been all about people or situations who were there for her that night. The exam that Addison did. The intrusion of Violet trying to confront her with what's happened. You want to keep things here as far as possible away from anything that happened on the night of her rape."

"But Sheldon, I was there too. That night of her...I was there too. So where does that leave me, in her hierarchy of people to be angry about?"

"That's the part you won't figure out until you trigger her, and she tells you. And she will. This will come out, Cooper, one way or the other. And won't be your fault and there's nothing you can do to prevent it from happening. She has to work through this, and as she does, it will come out. This won't be easy for you."

"It's not about me."

"Well, with me, it can be. Remember that, will you? Cooper, I care about her. About both of you. I'm here, whenever you need me. Don't hesitate to call."

"I don't know what to say. Thanks, man."

"You'd do the same. Now, can you hook me up with some coffee? Least you can do after dragging me out of bed at this hour..."

They share a smile, and he sends Sheldon on his way a few minutes later. Charlotte's back in the bedroom again. Hiding out, he supposes. He braces himself, then goes in to see what the day will bring.


	5. Chapter 5

Part 5

She has the hair curled again, and she's picking at a muffin as she packs some files into her bag.

"Hey, sweetie," he says.

"Hey."

"Feeling better?"

"Please stop asking me that."

"Okay. Just...just glad you talked to Sheldon about this whole thing."

"I didn't. Just told him I wanted to hit someone. That's all."

"Ah. Okay. And...?"

"And he gave me some phone numbers. Look, I really don't want to get into all this. Can't we just get on with our day?"

"Um, all right. So, do you want to meet me for lunch, later?"

"I'll call you."

"You'll call me?"

"I have a full day planned here, Coop. So yeah, I'll call you. That work?"

He remembers what Violet said, about choices being imposed by other people. He has to pick his battles here, and this is not one of his battles.

"Well, I have my phone. So just call me, whenever you want to, okay?"

"Great. So, I'm meeting Amelia. Can you drop me at Sam's on your way?"

He frowns. "I thought Amelia was staying with Addison."

"She is. But I'm meeting her at Sam's. Anything else you want to grill me on?"

Okay. So he needs to keep his mouth shut around her today. Noted.

* * *

He drops her off, then heads to the hospital on his way into the practice. He wants to check on the patient that so affected Charlotte, the one that triggered her issues with Addison. Pete is working the ER, and remembers her.

"Amber Haverman," he confirms. "They're releasing her today. She was in bad shape, Cooper. You might not want to..."

"No, I have to see."

"Suit yourself. I'll take you."

Pete stands there in the doorway, waits for him as he goes in. The girl is tiny, very young, very scared. She has blonde hair, like Charlotte has. A bandage on one arm, and a cast on the other. That same pattern of bruises underneath her eyes...

"Hey, sweetheart," he says gently.

The girl looks at him, tears up.

"I'm Dr. Freedman. I heard that you were in here, and I just wanted to check in on you before they send you home today. Make sure you have all the help you need."

The girl's lip trembles, then she nods.

"I heard you had to have a few procedures. I wanted to make sure you were feeling okay, now that they were done."

And Amber Haverman shakes her head, eyes tearing up again. "Guess they didn't tell you what the procedures were, did they? If they had? You wouldn't think I could be okay..."

* * *

He leaves the hospital, and he has to talk to someone. He's feeling fidgety, nervous, just like Charlotte was this morning. He can't keep still. He drums his hands on the steering wheel, and he just sits there for a second feeling like has to talk to someone, but who? Charlotte is out, for obvious reasons. Violet, as his friend? Sheldon, as his therapist? What does he need?

It's solved for him when he goes in, heads into the kitchen area, tries to pour himself a cup of coffee and drops his mug.

"Damn it!"

"Well," says a dry, calm voice. "Sounds like someone's off to a good morning..."

He looks up at Naomi's gentle, maternal face and at last has had enough. She manages to pull him into her office before he finally breaks down, and then she sits and watches while he weeps into his hands.

* * *

When she thinks he's collected himself, she pats his arm. "All right, Cooper. Let's talk."

He tells her more than he plans, about Charlotte and Addison, and the transference thing that Violet mentioned.

"This is good to know," Naomi says. "They work together here. We'll have to keep an eye on them."

"It's bigger than that."

"Of course it is. Because you were there that night too, right? And if she can put this on Addison, she can put it on you just as easily?"

"Naomi, I can't talk to her about this."

"Well, I think you're going to have to. You can't carry this around, Coop."

"Well, sure I can. She's managing to. So why shouldn't I?"

"Because you'll snap, same as she's going to, and then you'll make things even worse, for both of you. Let me put this to you another way. Before this happened, is this the kind of feeling you would have shared with her?"

"Before this happened, it wouldn't have been an issue."

"Sure it would. Maybe not this specific feeling, about this specific problem. But about something else, maybe. An issue comes up in how you two are functioning, interpersonally. You feel anxious and concerned. Would you tell her?"

"Probably."

"So, you tell her now. Cooper, part of what has her so on edge right now is feeling like she's everybody's project. Showing her that you still feel like you can lean on her may be good for her."

"I just don't want to put anything else on her right now. She's still so...so fragile..."

"Maybe. But underneath that, she's still her. She's still your tough, brave, bossy but sensitive Charlotte. And she'd want to be there for you if you were hurting."

That's something to think about. But then, he knows how tired she is of talking about what's happened. How will she feel if it turns out he has issues too?

* * *

She calls him just before noon and demands lunch.

"Burgers, barbecue, something proper. You meet me," she says.

"Okay. I'm just finishing up with some files. You want to just come here and wait?"

"No, I don't just want to come there and wait Coop, I want you to meet me!"

"You know, you can't avoid Addison forever."

"Didn't say I was trying to. Look, do you want lunch, or not?"

He sighs. "All right. That grill place, near the hospital? Half an hour?"

"Make it twenty minutes. I have meetings."

"With whom?"

"Twenty minutes. If you're not there, I start without you."

As he figured this morning; it's his day to keep his mouth shut.

* * *

In spite of her telephone grumpiness, she's all smiles when he gets there. A little too smiley, actually. She puts down her menu when he sits -he had to hustle to get there by her deadline, and she's evidently beat him to it- and gives him a smile that's a little too put-on and calculated.

"So?" she says. "You have a good morning?"

"I had an okay morning," he says.

"Oh?"

"We can talk about it later. How about you?"

"Oh, just swell, thanks. I'm starving. How about you get the onion rings, I get the fries, and we split 'em?"

"Charlotte..."

"Well, fine. I'll get the fries AND the onion rings."

"Babe..."

"No. You're saying my name like you want to talk all serious, and I am just flat out not in the mood. I had a good morning. Let's not poke that bunny just now, you hear me?"

"I'm just worried about you."

"Yeah, you always seem to be. Well? Are you getting the onion rings, or ain't ya?"

It's his day to keep his mouth shut, he tells himself again. Boy, is it ever.

* * *

He drops her back at the hospital, then heads straight back into the office and directly to Sheldon.

"Twice in one day," Sheldon muses. "Huh. And I thought she was the one who needed the therapy..."

"Very funny."

"I try. So?"

"She's manic," he complains.

"Is that a professional diagnosis?"

"Well, you tell me. She spends the nights quaking in the bed, wracked with nightmares or flashbacks or whatever the hell they are, so bad she can't sleep, she can't touch me, she can't do anything but lie there and pretend she's not crying. Then she wakes up in the morning all 'I'm over that' and plotting violence against Violet and Addison. And then I see her at lunchtime and she's all chipper and smiley and with the appetite of a lumberjack. Isn't that a little manic-sounding, to you?"

"It's a little PTSD-sounding, actually. Cooper, what you have here is a woman in desperate search for a coping strategy. She'll try them all on until she finds one that works."

"Naomi saw me this morning. I dropped a coffee mug. We chatted for a bit."

"And?"

"And she said I should try and be honest right now. That Charlotte needs to see me treating her just like I did before, and that means telling her I'm having trouble with this."

"Fair enough. So, did you try it?"

"I wanted to. But she just keeps telling me she doesn't want to talk today. She said she'd rather not poke the bunny just now."

"Well, that's fair enough too. Might there be a compromise here?"

"What do you mean?"

"I mean pat the bunny, but don't poke it. Admit that you do need to talk, but tell her you'll do it with me until she's ready to hear it?"

He nods slowly. "That might work."

"And Cooper?"

"Yes, Sheldon?"

"When I say talk to me, I mean ME, you understand? Leave Violet out of this. Leave Naomi out of it too. Let Charlotte have as much space -as much privacy- as you can give her. Okay?"

"Yeah. Thanks, Sheldon."

"Call me tonight, if you need to. Nights are more difficult, I think. For both of you."

"Yeah."

"So, call me. Okay?"

And it is okay. He feels so alone right now. It's nice to have a friend in this.


	6. Chapter 6

Part 6

She beats him home, somehow. He comes in and finds her lying on the couch, dressed in sweats and cuddled into a blanket. She looks exhausted. She barely lifts up her head when he comes in, and as he gets closer, he can see that her knuckles are scratched and she has a bruise blooming just beneath her left eye.

"What the hell..."

"Hey, baby," she says.

"Charlotte? What...happened?"

"I'm okay," she says.

"But..."

"Felt like hitting someone. So I did. It was a kickboxing class, Coop. Amelia took me."

"And?"

"Took my lumps. But I got some of that energy out..."

Hr frowns. "This doesn't sound like progress."

"Well, what did you expect me to do? I had to do something, Coop. Do you get that? I had to do something. What did you think I was gonna do?"

"Okay, don't shout at me, please."

"I'll shout if I want to! You got a better way to hash this out?"

"Whoa. Can we please just slow down for a second and talk about this?"

"Talk? Talk MORE? Isn't there anything else you ever want to do?"

She's suddenly not looking so tired anymore. She's practically frothing. How did this escalate so fast on him? All he wanted to do was breathe for a second and make sure she was okay...

"Fine. Yell at me. If it helps you, Charlotte, go ahead and yell at me."

At last, that deflates her. She takes a shaky breath, burrows a little deeper into her blanket. "I'm sorry," she says.

"It's okay."

"No, it's not. This is not about you."

"Isn't it? Even a little?"

"Coop! How can you say that?"

"Just...I was there that night too. So if Violet is right and you have this transference thing..."

"Ah. Is that what she told you?"

"Well..."

"Coop, I'm not mad at those two because of what the rapist did. I'm mad at them because of what they did. And that's something I was talking about today with one of the therapists Sheldon recommended."

"Oh?"

"Her name is Sandra Ashe. She's on staff at County, and she's good."

"Oh! That's..."

"Let me ask you something, since you seem so bent on talking. You like Addison?"

"Um, I guess..."

"But do you LIKE her, Coop? Like if something happened that...if I did something, you'd back me up? Even if it meant she had consequences?"

"Charlotte, of course I would."

"All right. Now, how about Violet? Would you back me, over her?"

"What are you getting at, exactly?"

"Just...Dr. Ashe and I were talking. And I was angsting to hell and back about why I was having such a reaction to those two, and I guess I expected her to tell me that I was over-reacting, or that I was...what did Violet call it...transferring... and she didn't, Coop. She didn't. She pointed out that I did have legitimate grievances."

"Okay..."

"And legitimate grievances can be addressed through legitimate channels. I can take action here, Coop. I can file a complaint and it'll go in their files, and maybe that's all that'll happen. But I can DO something, and before I do it, I guess I want to know if you'll back me."

"I'll back you," he says.

"With Violet too?"

"Violet will understand."

"I don't want her to understand. I want her to pay. And maybe that is transference, when all is said and done, but Coop, she betrayed my trust. She pissed on my boundaries and she violated my right to confidentiality. And I know she's been your best friend in the whole wide world, but Coop, that's what she did to me, and I need you to stand with me on this, or...or..."

"Hey," he soothes. He reaches out his hand, coaxes hers into it, gently squeezes. "I'm here for you. Baby, I'm here."

"And you're...you're okay, with what I'm asking?"

"If I'm not okay, that's why I speak to Sheldon."

She bites her lip. "That don't sound right."

"Well, when you're ready to hear more of it, I'll tell you. Are you ready, right now?"

"Honestly? Not so much."

"Well, okay. So I have my outlet, and you have yours, and when we're ready we'll blend it all together, and then we'll be okay. You understand me, Charlotte? We'll be okay."

"I'm sorry I yelled at you."

"I know you are. I love you."

She lets go of his hand, burrows deeper. She's crying, he thinks. But she won't turn his way again. With a sigh, he gives her one more pat of the hand, then goes to call Sheldon and fill him in on these latest developments.

* * *

"Okay," Sheldon says, when he's through explaining. "That's quite a spot she's putting you in."

"Yeah. I guess so."

"How do you feel about it?"

"I feel like Violet will understand."

"So, that's how Violet feels. But how do YOU feel?"

"Okay, a little conflicted, I guess. If I didn't think Violet would understand, I think I'd be a little more worked up. I mean, I get why Charlotte needs to do this, and I get that Violet maybe hasn't handled this well. But if it were anything else, anything not this huge and tangled and hard, would I let her make me choose between them? Probably not, Sheldon. Probably not."

"Then that's how you feel, and it's okay, Cooper. You can love her and you can support her and you can concede that this IS huge enough for you to make the compromise, but it doesn't mean you're a bad boyfriend if you find this hard too and if you don't agree with every choice she makes."

He exhales slowly. "Yeah. I guess I needed to hear that."

"So, what are you going to do?" Sheldon asks.

"Stay out of it, I guess? I mean, if Violet -or Addison- want to talk to me about it once they know, then sure, okay. But this is her fight, isn't it? She has to go through her own channels."

"You're learning."

"I try. Sheldon, am I doing this right? Cause I really, really want to be doing this right."

"I know you do. And she knows it too, Cooper. It's hard for her to see past her own pain right now. But underneath it all, she knows it too."

* * *

He goes to bed with her. He senses that she's restless again, and when he wakes up in the morning, she isn't in there with him. He finds her in the living room, still in the sweats she was in the night before. She's pale and her eyes, above the purpling bruise, are bloodshot and dry. She's been pulling an all-nighter.

"Babe?"

"Morning, Coop."

"Whatcha working on?"

Just writing up some notes. I want to to do it, Coop. I want to go ahead with this."

"Okay..."

"Nothing with the state medical board. I'd have to testify, and I sure don't need that. But in their files, at the hospital. A reprimand."

"Oh."

"Since it's me who is complaining and I'm the one who normally would deal with this sort of thing, I'll have to bring another doctor in to sign off on this and then break the news. I asked...she said...Naomi offered. Spent some time on the phone with her yesterday, and she offered. Said she'd copy the complaint to their files at the practice."

"Sounds like you have this well under control."

"I just want to ask you one more time. Cause if this is gonna be a thing with us, because of you and Violet..."

"Two questions," he says.

"All right..."

"Number one, will this make you feel safer, working with them again?"

"It will, it absolutely will."

"Number two, will it give you even the tiniest bit of closure, on that side of what happened at least?"

"Yeah. On that side, it will."

"Then I think you should do it. And I wholeheartedly support you. Do you want me there, when you and Naomi tell them?"

"Oh, can you? Can you, Coop?"

He squeezes her hand. "Like I told you, babe. I'm here for you."


	7. Chapter 7

Part 7

He cooks breakfast for her while she showers and cleans herself up a little. He can't imagine she'll last a whole day at work given the sleep she's had, so he calls and reschedules a few of his own appointments. He'll take the afternoon off so he can be with her. He has a feeling she may be feeling off once this is underway-Sheldon has promised him a meltdown, and he thinks it will be soon.

She comes out again, and the scattered papers have morphed into a tidy pile. She's ready to move on this.

"Pancakes?" he offers.

"Feel like I'm gonna throw up right now."

"Okay, a no to the pancakes..."

"Coop, tell me honestly. Are you okay about all of this?"

"Are you?"

"No fair. You want me to talk all the time, and then I ask you, and you deflect it away..."

"You know, you're right, I shouldn't do that."

"So, are you?"

"Honestly? I think you need to do whatever you need to do to get some healing on this. And I think Violet and Addison will understand that."

"And you?"

"I understand it too."

"You have this thing with Violet."

"It doesn't mean I think she's perfect. It doesn't mean I support every choice she's made."

"And me? Is this gonna have you saying that about me?"

"Not in this situation. But don't get used to making me choose between you."

"There. See? You can tell me things."

"I know I can."

"I just...I need some of the pictures to go away. Do you get that, Coop? Bad enough, having him in my head. I don't need the rest of them in there too..."

"It's okay, Charlotte. You don't have to explain."

"Well, put your pancakes away and let's go. I want this done."

* * *

Naomi meets them at St. Ambrose, offers both of them coffee. He accepts. Charlotte declines, but they sit in the hospital coffee shop with Naomi while she indulges, and reads Charlotte's papers.

"Well," she says, "As a senior surgeon with standing and privileges here at St. Ambrose, and as managing partner in the practice from which Dr. Violet Turner and Dr. Addison Montgomery are based, I hereby recognize these complaints, affirm their validity and file them officially as soon as I get back to the office."

"Will there be any consequences for them, beyond that?" he asks her.

"Well, ask Charlotte, she's the chief of staff here. I'm just signing this off because it's her who's filing. So? What would you usually do for something like this?"

"Probably a suspension," Charlotte says. "Which we'd waive if they agree to take sensitivity training."

"All right, then. Six months to show proof of completion, then the complaint is removed from their file?"

"Six months to show proof of completion, I waive my right to a lawsuit, and the complaint stays in their file for the record."

"Done. Do you want to be there when I tell them?"

She bites her lip. "I thought I did. But..."

"I understand. All right, work from here today. I'll tell them back at the practice."

"Will you call, when you're done? Tell me how they took it?"

"Of course."

"Naomi, thank you."

"Hey, no problem. You'd do it for me, right?"

* * *

He sits there with her for a long time after Naomi leaves. She keeps looking like she's about to cry, but doesn't quite do it. Finally, she says "Come back with me, will you? Come upstairs and wait with me until she calls..."

They go up to her office, and they sit. She makes a half-hearted effort to file some papers and move some stuff around, but it's clear that neither of them can focus. Her fingers keep flexing again, half a fist, half a missile that she can't quite keep at bay.

"Char?"

"Quiet, Coop."

"I just..."

"Just sit, will you? Just sit for once and stop talking!"

She stares at the phone, drumming her fingers on the table. And the morning stretches on.

When they do hear from Naomi, it's in person. She comes back to Charlotte's office just after ten o'clock, looking somber and gentle and utterly maternal. She says nothing; just holds out her arms. And Charlotte crumples completely.

He watches as Naomi gently folds his girl into her arms and just holds her, lets her cry. Then looks up at him, nudges him over. He joins the hug. He touches more of Naomi than of Charlotte, he thinks. But he can smell her hair and he can feel her body shaking. Can feel it under him, drawing comfort from Naomi's touch. After a moment, Naomi slides herself away, lets him hold Charlotte himself.

And she lets herself be held.

* * *

They sit down, after. Charlotte is klingy, in a way she hasn't been in weeks. She's still a little tearful, and now that she's let him touch her, she won't let go. They wind up with Naomi in the desk chair and he and Charlotte on the couch, him sitting, her in exhausted sprawl, her head in his lap and her fingers clasped around his.

"Well?" he says.

Naomi shrugs. "Not much to tell you. I think they both expected this- or understood where it was coming from, anyway. Addison cried."

Charlotte smirks a little through her own tears. "Yeah. She would."

"You know they never meant to make this hard for you."

"I know they didn't. But..."

"Yeah. Well, that's why we have this process, right? There was a deficiency in the way they handled this. And now, they'll get training to address it. They'll learn from this. Be better doctors, after."

"Uh huh. Just, will you tell them-no more talking, please. I don't want 'em coming up at me with the gooey eyes, all sorry and sad. This wasn't business. But everything else I do with them is, and I don't want to mix this in."

"They both asked me about that. If they could come to you and apologize."

"They want to talk, there are shrinks for that. Only other thing I ever want to hear from them, about this, is that they have the training so I can note that for their file."

"Okay. I'll pass that on."

"Part of me feels so dead right now, I don't know how I can move from this spot. But part of me just really wants to go home..."

"I've got her," he tells Naomi. "Thanks."

He lets her sit for a moment. Then he tugs on her arm. "Come on. Let's go home."

* * *

She falls asleep in the car, and doesn't rouse when they are home and he gently shakes her. He delicately balances the dead weight of her, the tangled hair, the floppy arms, and carries her inside.

"Char?" he whispers.

No movement.

"Babe? You with me?"

He touches her face. Is she flushed, or is that just his imagination? After three days of manic anger, of fiery energy and rage and bite, she's out on him and that's just as scary. Should he call Sheldon? And say what, exactly? No. He can handle this. He can handle this...

But he looks at her, and she's so peaceful-looking on the one hand, and so small and fragile and delicate on the other...

He checks her again, makes sure she's breathing, makes sure she's soft and calm and sleeping. Then he turns away. This isn't peace that brought her here. It isn't peace...

And before he knows it, he's fighting tears, and the harder he fights them, the harder they come. He doesn't want to wake her. She's finally resting, and he's damned if he'll wake her now...

He sinks to the floor, his body shaking, his hands clenching as he tries to keep it all in, and he's so caught up in what he's feeling that he doesn't even notice her hand drift down to his tear-stained cheek and gently touch him.

"Hey," she says gently. "Hey, Coop..."

But he shakes his head. He can't stop now, not even for her, and she touches him again and her expression is, against the odds, still peaceful...

"It's okay," she says after a moment. "It's okay that you're angry too."

And hearing her say it, hearing her be in this moment with him, he gets his first inkling that things really will be all right some day. He pulls her hand closer, feels her skin touch his.

"It'll be okay," she says again.

He nods, lets this finish. Then he climbs back onto the bed. He lies down beside her, pulls her close. He holds her. And she settles into his arms and holds him back, at last.

The end


End file.
